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Author Topic: No Christmas  (Read 1222 times)
Christopher Nyerges
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« on: December 19, 2015, 12:49:51 AM »

Just posted a piece on the year of No Christmas, from my childhood. Some of you might enjoy this as you sip your eggnog.
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vector001
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« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2015, 01:22:51 AM »

that was a good one.


i had a few pivotal moments like that.

it was interesting, when sharing these trials with siblings and peers, how they often took completely different lessons from the experiences, and sometimes seemed to gain nothing from them.

vec
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Drivebytrucker
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« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2015, 10:11:07 AM »

Good story Chris. I'll echo what Vec said about others learning a different lesson altogether or perhaps gained nothing at all. Who can tell which is the best outcome?
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Dude McLean
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« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2015, 04:25:45 PM »



 excellent article... and a great lesson  in learning about life...

 Dude merry Christmas
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MountainManIndy
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« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2015, 05:45:09 PM »

 
Excellent article... insightful retrospective of a 'moment'.
Merriest of Christmases... and of course - All the VERY BEST!
~Indy
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Christopher Nyerges
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« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2015, 07:35:40 PM »

I just remembered another aspect to "christmastime."  My mother would beat us with a bamboo stick when we were bad. Yes, back in the good ole days, and I must say that fear of the stick kept me from breaking into more homes than I did, and kept me from being a real criminal. But all my brothers agreed that  the stick had to go. One Christmas, when the fireplace was going, the stick disappeared.  of course, no one knows what happened to it, and we tried to tell my mother that she must have just put it somewhere and forgotten where she putit, as was her habit.... But we did try harder after the stick was burned to not give her cause to find a new stick...

Fear can be a good motivator for survival, as can the desire to not experience more pain. Come to think of it, it is my lack of desire to experience pain that was -- in the beginning -- a major contributing factor to my study of ethnobotany and survival skills in general....

Once you learn a few things, I quickly got beyond the fear motivation, and did it because I enjoyed it
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deerstalker
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« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2015, 08:00:05 PM »

Christmas without young children around is a little pointless IMO.

Looking back.....as an adult I've always seen it as a time of great stress.

Most of my life I've been self employed, so my cash flow would reverse.

Expenses would go up and income would slow down.

Wages including holiday pays have to be paid, but clients are on holidays and don't pay their invoices on time.

Then there are corporate gifts to pay for, the parties and the loss of commercial momentum.

If you do go on holidays, it's hot, everyone else is already there and the prices double.

But, my grand daughter just loves that wrapping paper.........
« Last Edit: December 20, 2015, 12:47:16 AM by deerstalker » Logged
deerstalker
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« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2015, 08:06:04 PM »


Fear can be a good motivator for survival, as can the desire to not experience more pain.


It can also be the root cause of life long bitterness' and dysfunctional relationships IMO Undecided

 
« Last Edit: December 19, 2015, 10:53:11 PM by deerstalker » Logged
vector001
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« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2015, 05:59:08 PM »

Christmas without young children around is a little pointless IMO.

Looking back.....as an adult I've always seen it as a time of great stress.

Most of my life I've been self employed, so my cash flow would reverse.

Expenses would go up and income would slow down.

Wages including holiday pays have to be paid, but clients are on holidays and don't pay their invoices on time.

Then there are corporate gifts to pay for, the parties and the loss of commercial momentum.

If you do go on holidays, it's hot, everyone else is already there and the prices double.

But, my grand daughter just loves that wrapping paper.........

i can empathize with that.

vec
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vector001
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« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2015, 06:16:24 PM »

I just remembered another aspect to "christmastime."  My mother would beat us with a bamboo stick when we were bad. Yes, back in the good ole days, and I must say that fear of the stick kept me from breaking into more homes than I did, and kept me from being a real criminal. But all my brothers agreed that  the stick had to go. One Christmas, when the fireplace was going, the stick disappeared.  of course, no one knows what happened to it, and we tried to tell my mother that she must have just put it somewhere and forgotten where she put it, as was her habit.... But we did try harder after the stick was burned to not give her cause to find a new stick...

Fear can be a good motivator for survival, as can the desire to not experience more pain. Come to think of it, it is my lack of desire to experience pain that was -- in the beginning -- a major contributing factor to my study of ethnobotany and survival skills in general....

Once you learn a few things, I quickly got beyond the fear motivation, and did it because I enjoyed it

had a very similar story - i hid the riding crop.

Gramma Vec asked where it was, and i gave her my best poker face, which wasn't very good at all.

without raising an eyebrow, the Iron lady looked at my number one collaborator, my German Shephard, Boo - "Crop" says Mom, very calmly. Boo's eye brows flinched a little bit for a micro-second, probably doing some sort of wolf calculus on who to be the most loyal to, then i reckon Boo figured that it was perfectly okay to doom me, since it was better policy to ally with a fellow-female (snort! "fellow-female" sounds like Bruce Jenner) - off goes this traitorous bitch (literally), climbing over folded ping pong tables, throwing desks aside, and a metric ton of other stuff, to get at the rolled up carpet in the middle of the garage, unwrap about five feet of it, and pulls out the riding crop.


the stripes i got that day are almost gone....

that was one of the more loving times that i got corrected.


oh well, both boot camps were a breeze because of my mother's strangle-tight reins.

my childhood was very good, you just weren't allowed to be a fool, or suffer their company.


one thing that has been nice, is raising my own offspring - all i had to do when they were getting out of hand was start talking about what i got when i was out of line, and asking them to think up something even better.

not a lot of discipline issues in my house, except for my own, of course.

 Grin


brother nyerges, look how beautifully we turned out.... Roll Eyes

vec
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Quill
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« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2015, 07:37:20 PM »

Fear is a great motivator. My parents policy was if you got whooped at school, you got double when you got home. They would have laughed at today's ideas on child rearing. I look at how parents either lie to their kids about the world around or try to reason with them. As an example if there would have been a zombie outbreak when I was a kid they wouldn't say we going hiking and backpacking.  I would have been given a load to carry and told to march or else. Or else always led to a painful outcome. If I didn't move fast enough they would tell me to hurry up or the zombies would get me. If I would get tired and complain they would threaten to leave me for the zombies to eat. Crap there was a explicit conduct just for going into a store. I am not near as damaged as the experts say I should be.
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What's over the next hill?
Christopher Nyerges
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« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2015, 01:41:05 PM »

You're right Vec.  We are coddling the youth, to their detriment. In High school too, the priests had these nylon ropes (they were Caprician ? priests, with brown robes and white ropes for belts) and one in particular knew how to do a back hand with his rope as he walked down the aisle and it would leave a welt on your back all day.  We loved it!  It did force us to self=-discipline, to a degree, and taught us that our pain threshold was way higher than we thought. which is a good thing to learn.
Of course,our parents back then signed waivers saying the priests could whip us at will, because that meant a whipping the parents didnt have to give us at home.

I didnt get a teaching job once because they wouldn't agree to what I wanted to do in order to impose discipline.  I told them I would not be there to babysit....

The result today is that the US youth are pandered, undisciplined, and unfit for more and more, and we cry about jobs going to China, where they don't mind working hard (well, they have taken it to a degree in China where I think it's a bit extreme). 

another factor that I think my mother understood: Don't discipline out of anger.  My priests understood that too, they'd whip us while laughing. My martial arts teacher would tell us to never fight angry, that you must be in control of your emotions, esp. anger, or else you have already lost.


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Quill
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« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2015, 03:34:38 PM »

I had a coworker back in the day that went to Joliet Catholic. His stories of the nuns discipline was hair raising. You got sent to the principles office when I was in grade school. Had a paddle that looked like a cricket bat with holes drilled in it. Said board of education on it. Bend over and grab your knees. By junior high the phys ed/science teacher took you to the rest room and just said assume the position and whacked you with a ping pong paddle. Who knew you could get whacked for throwing a paper airplane out a second story window. After all it was just an impromptu science experiment inn my eyes.  Grin  He thought he was tough, heck mom was a lot worse than his swing.
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What's over the next hill?
Christopher Nyerges
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« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2015, 07:52:53 PM »

I was once with  a friend at some party, and we were laughing about our days at the Catholic high school. A very concerned-sounding lady asked "Do you think you were psychologically scarred from all that."  We laughed so hard that we couldn't sputter out an answer and she walked away, knowing we were ridiculing her...
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vector001
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« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2015, 10:37:57 PM »


another factor that I think my mother understood: Don't discipline out of anger.  My priests understood that too, they'd whip us while laughing. My martial arts teacher would tell us to never fight angry, that you must be in control of your emotions, esp. anger, or else you have already lost.




yeah, that rule goes deep in all sorts of directions - it isn't just about protecting all involved. if one gets mad, one can, and usually does, trade one issue for another.

don't discipline while emotional, is my version. - my mother never learned that, nor did she vary her tactics and therefore became predictable and less threatening. i'd let her chastisements run off of me like a cool breeze by the time that i was a young man, but a thing i noted was how if you don't absorb that, as the subject of the onslaught, everyone watching does - big tough guys would really roll up when my mom let me have it - maybe it's a Prussian thing.... at any rate, i have always tried to stay conscious of that phenomenon since, about mentally and emotionally loading and burdening, people, groups and situations - venerable-elder dude can probably tell on me about using that phenomenon in some of my more naughty moments, but he would never do that, and anywayz i am sure he's thinking of halcon, who once strangled an entire net-making class because of his disgust with their cordage fetishes, etc. - it's all lies i tell ya....  Cool


punishment though, that's another matter - Marines taught me the power, and particularly the value, of being pissed, and everyone in your kill radius knowing it. - having a command switch for adrenaline has come in very handy.

being able to summon so much white hot rage instantly, and learning how to do it was quite a thing, ...to be able to yell at someone, and make them crash their car, jump out a window, shit their pants, or all three, etc. ...it's sloppy, sure, but useful... i am still working on making them do the aerial back-flip, with spontaneous combustion mid-air....  Kiss


my kids don't want that pointed at them, so my job tends to be a little easy at Chez Vec.


discipline and punishment. - they are distinct.

weaklings think they are the same.


you can get hooked on discipline.

it's its own reward, after all.

vec
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